Here’s the honest truth: if I had a gorgeous body, I would revel in the warmer months with as little clothing draping my limbs as possible. When I think of a male model, I typically think of a rudely insane body that “inspire” me to skip dinner in favor of running laps around the block.

That’s why I was sort of surprised when I got an email from Switzerland-based photographer Adriano Artexcellence containing his latest editorial titled “Toque Masculino” featuring Elite Miami’s Jake Jensen. Don’t get me wrong: Jensen is a good looking dude. He’s that really handsome guy you see at the beach that you find yourself having domestic fantasies about. You know the kind I’m talking about! Painting the walls of your new home in Connecticut, going grocery shopping, pretty decent sex in the laundry room while the kids play outside.

No matter, I just didn’t initially look at Jensen and go “Damn! Let me get a piece of that.” Him being an otter grabbed my attention more than his abs but that’s just me. Either way, Adriano, who played double duty as the stylist, did a bang up job.

Jensen, call me if you want to get married. I love Connecticut.

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