Where do I even begin with Amanda Seales? The very first time I saw her was on a CNN clip where she continously shuts down some idiot penis having blabber mouth about why women should be okay with being catcalled in public. Flash forward to 2016 and I’m watching her on the hilarious HBO series, Insecure. On the show, she plays the slightly uptight yet likable character, Tiffany and while it’s not a major role, her impact is unmistakable.
This week, I saw that Amanda made an appearance on The Breakfast Club back in August and quickly clicked inside to watch. During her damn-near hour-long interview, she kept it so real that I had to slap myself for not being as sturdy in my own truth. She called out former employers, called out the radio hosts and even shared how a sexual relationship with an industry insider helped her stay informed about certain things.
Yes, she spilled all of her goddamn tea.
However, the most interesting part of Amanda’s interview is when she talked about finally accepting herself. Before moving out to Los Angeles, a handful of people in her life casually revealed that other people just didn’t like her. This came from both a former boss and a guy she was literally on a date with. Like most people, she internalized these comments and began believing that she was truly an unlikable person.
With the help of her therapist, Amanda broke free from those negative thoughts. She said that she had to grow into her personality just like some others have to grow into their looks. It is then when she was able to start living her best damn life. “A lot of people filter because of fear. I’m over it,” she says to The Breakfast Club’s hosts.
Living your truth just means being honest with yourself about yourself. If you’re not living in your truth, you’re not going to be able to get to where you’re supposed to be.
I knew exactly what Amanda meant when she said she was thrown off by people not liking her. Without patting myself on the back, I can confirm that more times than not, people tend to like me. I also understand that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but it still rattles me when someone has what I perceive as a negative reaction to who I am. It affects me more in the workplace. That’s where I primarily look for mentors and voices that will support my growth as a creative marketer. To be in that environment and have someone give a cold shoulder is tough to swallow and can leave me chewing on our interactions for far too long than I care to admit. It can then lead me to ask about why I’m not liked by people I don’t even know!
I’m sorta funny, sorta cute and sorta well spoken so what gives? Why doesn’t my website experience explosive traffic? Why don’t my Instagram posts get more likes? Why doesn’t my YouTube channel have more subscribers? Is it because I’m Black? No, some of my favorite YouTubers are people of color. Is it because I’m gay? Definitely not. Gays are all the rage. Is it because I’m just not likable? These are the questions that keep me up at night!
To see a Black woman like Amanda acknowledge this superficial problem of not being liked and use it to increase her self-love is an inspiration. Even before watching this interview, I had some internal conversations to unshackle myself from worrying about not being liked. I’m not “there” yet and can’t guarantee I ever will be but with people like Amanda Seales raising and using her voice, I know for a fact that my journey will continue progressing.